Living

I never gave living much thought until I was diagnosed with cancer. Then it became the centerpiece of every breath I took. I woke up every morning and asked myself if today was the day I would die.  Thankfully, the answer was "No!" Then I needed to assess how lousy I felt. On the worst days, I reminded myself that it was possible that this could be the best I would ever feel again.  If so, I needed to get up and live my best day. Figuring out how to live my best day each and every day is not just a reaction to life threatening situations. It is what we all need to do each day, but so often ignore.

I learned to 'live my best day' each and every day because each and every day was different.  Some days were easy and obvious.  Others were dark and difficult, but that is true for all of us in all parts of our lives. I learned to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, even on the days when all my effort meant I didn't move forward very far. Appreciating those few 'inches' I moved had to become a new part of my life.

I took early retirement because of a financial package I couldn't pass up. I thought retirement would be a breeze and the best part of my life so far.  Some days it is.  Some days it is scary and lonely and I feel lost. The biggest challenge is the biggest blessing.  There is no longer the structure and organizing principles of working. How fabulous is that?  How terrifying is that?

As I continue to live each day, I find some days are difficult, some are not, some are easy, some are boring, some are frenetic, some are filled with joy and laughter, and some are a struggle.  It really doesn't matter.  Nothing matters but getting up each morning and putting one foot in front of the other, doing the best you can in THAT moment, and then getting up and doing it all over again, knowing it will be different than the day before. That is the best part of each of my days.

Posted on January 8, 2015 .